Book of Mormonisms

Did they really say THAT?

Lost in Space Mormon Doctrine

Posted by skiutah on Saturday, January 31, 2009

This week’s Sunday School talk is on LDS space travel.

Brigham Young explains that Neil Armstrong was NOT the first man on the moon: “Who can tell us of the inhabitants of this little planet that shines of an evening, called the moon… So it is with regard to the inhabitants of the sun. Do you think it is inhabited? I rather think it is. Do you think there is any life there? No question of it.” JD 13:271

God teaches us spatial words in the Book of Abraham:
Shinehah = sun
Kokob = star
Olea = moon
Kokaubeam = stars
Kolob = greatest of Kokaubeam
gnolaum = eternal
Jah-oh-eh = Egyptians term for one day on Kolob = 1000 days on earth
Oliblish = Egyptian term for Kolob
Enish-go-on-dosh = Egyptian term for Sun
Kae-e-vanrash = medium through which the Sun borrows its light from Kolob
Floeese = anal revolutions
Kli-flos-is-es = power source
Hah-ko-kau-beam = power source

Star Trek general conference attendees: Use lines like this to impress fellow temple trekkers: Hello gnolaum friend, tonight let’s light up some Hah-ko-kau-beam, and try not to catch a Kolob sized Kae-e-vanrash.

Mormon man in moon legends (click here).

Jesus wants you for a sunbeam: Become a Kokaubeam for Jesus. At home, at school, for play, in bed. Children’s Songbook of the LDS church

Seminary Instructors: For students wanting extra space credit, have them listen to Mitt Romney’s rendition of the Mormon hymn If You Could Hie To Kolob (see link below):

For reference, here’s a Mormon space map of the known LDS universe:

Mormon Space Map

Mormon Space Map

This is the place!

Graphic source: http://www.mormongags.com/content/i-hope-they-call-me-mission

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18 Responses to “Lost in Space Mormon Doctrine”

  1. blazeheliski said

    Speaking of Star Trek……..here is the trailer for the best Trek movie ever coming out soon……

    http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/movie/index.html

    Bill P

  2. blazeheliski said

    Here is some science that came out last week that may turn the heads of Atheists. It turns out that our world – our universe – may just be a giant hologram. If that is true, who is running the hologram? Who is watching the stage play called “Planet Earth?” God? Some omnipotent being that uses us for entertainment? If this is true – if we can figure out a way to control the holographic program – we may be able to just from plaent to planet. Or solar system to solar system? Here is the link…….

    http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20126911.300-our-world-may-be-a-giant-hologram.html?full=true&print=true

    Blaze

  3. skiutah said

    Better than the Wrath of Khan?

  4. coventryrm said

    “Here is some science that came out last week that may turn the heads of Atheists. It turns out that our world – our universe – may just be a giant hologram. If that is true, who is running the hologram?”

    Why does there need to be anyone running the hologram, why can’t things just be, you would still have to answer the same question if everything requires a creator who created the creator? Either way something ends up being infinite! The science doesn’t shake atheism in the least bit but it certainly flies against any deity myth I have heard, haven’t heard the religion that is built on the great “Projectionist”

  5. coventryrm said

    Oh and I listened to a Book last year on CD that talked about this theory it has been out longer than a week.

  6. blazeheliski said

    Did you watch the trailer? – It looks like it might be better than the Wrath of Khan. :)

    I have heard people talking about the theory longer than a week also. The report on the most recent evidence from that expirement is a week old. I never said that the “omipotent being” was a God – but it does present the possibility of something greater and more intelligent than us. Now just because the being or beings are more powerful and intelligent than us – it doesn’t mean that they don’t have the same character flaws as us. Instead of a “perfect” God – maybe it or they enjoy our wars, our crimes, our strife? Maybe over the course of time they appeared to us as different Gods to create different religions to stimulate wars? Maybe they even like a little huamn sex every now and then – immaculate conception anyone? LOL ;)

    Blaze

  7. skiutah said

    yes, the trailer definitely looks interesting. A little more high-tech than the Wrath of Khan.

    Watching the aliens in the trailer, it makes one wonder when some of our alien cousins will contact us here on earth? If God has billions of brother Gods and sister Gods, all of them creating billions of children for billions of worlds, why don’t they contact their earthly cousins? When will our Uncle Gods and Aunt Gods come for a visit?

  8. coventryrm said

    Happy B-Day Skiutah

  9. skiutah said

    :)

  10. blazeheliski said

    “Watching the aliens in the trailer, it makes one wonder when some of our alien cousins will contact us here on earth? If God has billions of brother Gods and sister Gods, all of them creating billions of children for billions of worlds, why don’t they contact their earthly cousins? When will our Uncle Gods and Aunt Gods come for a visit?”

    Duh! – haven’t you ever heard of “The Prime Directive?” :)

    Blaze

    • SkiUtah said

      Looks like some diehard fans were disappointed in the new Star Trek film:

      http://bit.ly/6HmFj
      :)

      • blazeheliski said

        SkiUtah said
        Monday, May 4, 2009 at 8:51 pm
        Looks like some diehard fans were disappointed in the new Star Trek film:

        http://bit.ly/6HmFj

        That video is pretty darn funny. All I know is what movie I am going to be watching this weekend. ;)

        Blaze

      • skiutah said

        I made my 12 year old daughter watch all of the old Star Trek movies before going to watch this new Star Trek movie.

        After watching the new Star Trek movie, here is how she ranked all of the Star Trek movies:
        1. new Star Trek movie
        2. “all the rest sucked”

        I asked “even the Wrath of Khan sucked?” She said “especially the Wrath of Khan…”

        And I can wait to start reading the Klingon translation of the Book of Mormon:
        Klingon Book of Mormon

  11. skiutah said

    good point… somebody out there get busy and invent the warp drive…

  12. jackdan90 said

    well, i’m not interested in just one opinion, but what’s the truth, what science says…?

  13. Paul Wilson said

    Back in 1964 I signed the guestbook at the Mormon pavilion . I had been visited by missionaries as a result, but when I found out that the church was against family planning, I backed out from any further attempts to convert me. Since then I’ve been an enemy of Mormonism. I also am glad that I thus escaped the 2-year missionary pilgrimage that would have been required of me. After considerable research, I knew I just could NOT live this way … I also never signed my right name or address to any of their guestbooks since.

  14. b.a.m said

    Correction: It was 1000 years. not 1000 days.

  15. This really is the third blog, of your blog I
    went through. Still I really enjoy this 1,
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    most. Cya ,Andrea

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