Book of Mormonisms

Did they really say THAT?

LDS Gay Revelation Countdown to Year 2041

Posted by skiutah on Tuesday, September 20, 2011

In 1948: The U.S. military leadership receives a revelation from God, instructing them to fully integrate Blacks into the armed forces. African Americans finally have equal footing in the military.

30 years later, in 1978: The LDS church prophet receives the same revelation from God, stating that Black males are allowed to hold the Mormon priesthood and African American families can fully participate in Mormon temple ceremonies.

In 2011: The U.S. military receives another revelation from God, the U.S. armed forces now allow gays and lesbians to serve in the military without fear of being banned from serving and protecting the country because of sexual preference.

30 years from now, in 2041: We prophesy that the Mormon church will receive the same revelation from God, and finally recognize that sexual orientation is not a reason to ban people from a religion.

Note 1: We attempted to interview several of the brethren, and there still is no word from Salt Lake City as to why the U.S. military receives revelations 30 years prior to the LDS prophet. One apostle, speaking on condition of anonymity, speculated “since the U.S. military technically is reponsible for defending Utah from attacks from foreign nations, it makes sense that military leaders may need to receive revelations before the prophet in Utah. We just don’t know why the Lord works in this mysterious way.”

Note 2: We exhort LDS members to contact their hegemonic heirarchy and place upward pressure on the prophet to receive the gay-rights revelation sooner. The people of Utah should follow examples set recently by the Egyptians and Libyans on how to effect a change in leadership.

Note 3: We have received an inside tip that the revelation due out in 2041 will look something like this:

Dear Brothers and Sisters:

As we have witnessed the increased growth of the Lord’s work on earth, we have been blessed to see the people of many cultures respond to the message of the restored gospel. This has inspired us to again increase our efforts to spread this message equally to all people.

We have pleaded extensively and solemnly on behalf of all Brothers and Sisters of this world, spending many hours in the Upper Room of the Temple supplicating the Lord for heavenly guidance. He has heard our prayers, and by direct revelation has confirmed that all people of earth, regardless of sexual preference, may now fully participate in all ordinances of the restored gospel.

We declare with soberness that the Lord has now made known His will for the blessing of all His children throughout the earth who will hearken to the voice of His authorized servants, and make themselves ready and go forth to partake in every blessing the gospel provides.

Sincerely yours,
The First Presidency


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