Book of Mormonisms

Did they really say THAT?

Mormon Christ Set to Return May 21, 2011

Posted by skiutah on Friday, May 13, 2011

Prepare to be judged next week and then enter a grueling 5 month torture period: E-Bible 2nd Coming Predictions Made Easy

After your five months of torture, the world will end on October 21, 2011. Read the Bible and Book of Mormon to jumpstart your 5 months of torture, begin your journey here:

Ecclesiastes 10:19, A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry, but money answereth all things.

Questions: Does it really matter when Christ comes again? If you knew the repeat date, would you change anything about your lifestyle? I suppose if I knew the exact day, I would probably take a trip south, get some sun, and not worry about skin cancer.

Note: My grandmother was promised in her LDS patriarchal blessing that she would live to see Christ’s comeback, and would stand while others burned to a crisp. She fell short by about 20 years. If she had only been more faithful, she would have lived to see this day.

I was raised a Mormon, and growing up was fed large doses of these are the signs of the times, Christ’s coming is right around the corner, it’s sooner than anybody thinks, you are the chosen generation, you were sent here as one of the last generations because you were the most valient in the pre-existence, Saturday’s warriors, we’ll all be moving to Jackson County, Missouri soon… And all of this was in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. All of the signs were there, wars, tornados, floods, famine, drought, Jews in Jerusalem, and on and on.

Why the obsession with Christ coming again? Probably it makes people feel good hearing the message of “you’re special and will be saved.” It gives them a “hey Koolaid” exit from their less than spectacular lives. The topic of “Christ coming again, right around the corner” gives the people in power something that they can promise to the ordinary folks, and this myth keeps on giving, generation after generation. Nobody must bother to notice that this has been going on for as long as Christians have been around.

The 2nd coming message persists because it’s a money maker. It keeps people coming back. It worked with my Grandma’s generation, it worked with my generation, and the same message is being successfully sold to teenagers today.


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