Book of Mormonisms

Did they really say THAT?

GA’s Brother Goes to Trial for Spanking Women

Posted by skiutah on Thursday, March 24, 2011

As reported in the Salt Lake Tribune: Arturo Tenorio is headed to trial for a sex abuse case in Utah

A recap of the case:
* Arturo Tenorio came highly recommended as a marriage counselor by an LDS bishop.
* Mormon women paid as much as $280 an hour to be spanked, have their breasts fondled, and shown different sexual positions by Arturo.

Arturo defended his actions “When I’m alone with vulnerable women that completely trust me, I ask myself, what would Joseph Smith do? ”

Church officials aren’t taking sides. One leader responded “Conceivably when somebody is in a position of trust like that, it’s hard to tell who will come out on top. The church has a long history of inspired-by-God leaders taking advantage of the weaker sex, so we can’t be too harsh on this man. Name of Jesus, Amen.”

Note 1: Arturo’s brother, Octaviano Tenorio, is a general authority for the LDS church. It’s not known at this time if the Lord informed Octaviano that his brother was a highly recommended serial rapist working as a marriage counselor in Utah preying on married Mormon women.

Note 2: While there isn’t any hard evidence that Joseph Smith actually spanked his teenage wives, there is some evidence that Brigham Young may have engaged in the practice. Wife number 19, Ann Eliza Young, complained of physical abuse which included heavy fore-spanking.

Relief Society Sisters, sing the below lyrics to “Give Said the Little Stream” music, with gusto, and loud enough so that the Elders can hear you down the hall:

Spank said the teenage wife
Spank, oh spank
Spank, oh spank
Spank said the teenage wife
As she hurried down the *censored*
I’m young I know but the bedroom I go
The husband grows *censored*

Spank said the teenage bride
Spank, oh spank
Spank, oh spank
Spank said the teenage bride
As she fell upon the *censored*
She’ll raise their weary *censored*
As she fell upon the *censored*

Screaming, screaming all the day
Bishop spank away, Bishop spank away
Screaming, screaming all the day
Elder spank, Elder spank away

Spank what is in *censored*
Scream away, scream away
Spank what is in your *censored*
And your pleasure will ever *censored*

He was inspired.

She wasn't expecting this for LDS marriage counseling.
Thank you Brother Brigham,
may I have another.

Note: Garment thong pictured has not yet been approved by the Brethren, please do not wear while participating in temple ceremony.

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