How to Succeed on a Mormon Mission
Posted by skiutah on Thursday, May 28, 2009
You will be instructed to use the “spirit” to guide you on your LDS mission to find converts. Understand what the “spirit” really is. The “spirit” is a pleasant psychological response in the human brain to an outside event. This is also commonly referred to as the “Holy Ghost” or “burning in the bosom”. Missionaries with charisma or talent can more easily evoke the “spirit” response in other human beings.
Understand that evoking the “spirit” response in a prospective convert has nothing to do with how righteous you are. Charming missionaries convert more people regardless of their morality. This explains why missionaries who frequently masturbate, fornicate, or break the word of wisdom are still able to baptize many people on their missions.
If you don’t have a magnetic personality, you can still succeed on your mission, but it requires one of the following:
* Be assigned to a companion who has charisma. You can ride his/her coattails and claim victory as if it were your virtue, adherence to the rules, and work ethic that resulted in the Lord guiding you to people enamored by your companion’s appealing character.
* Be sent to a mission that has a high number of low income desperate people who need the church’s help. You can have the charm of a gnat, break all the rules, and you still will baptize many.
If you are called to a mission that doesn’t fit into the above criteria, prepare yourself for two years of frustration and failure. However, knowing the truth will help you cope with the following:
* Why isn’t the Holy Ghost guiding us to people waiting to be baptized?
* Why is the Elder with the gay personality doing so good?
* We’re following the rules, why aren’t we succeeding?
* Why is the Elder who throws darts at a map to locate converts so successful?
Note to MTC instructors: We suggest that you do not provide this information to a newbie missionary. Rather provide them with a time capsule note that they should open when they are three months into their mission and the reality has started to sink in.