Book of Mormonisms

Did they really say THAT?

My Daughters Wedding

Posted by coventryrm on Saturday, December 15, 2007

Today my Daughter will be married in a LDS Temple. 

I am not permitted to attend.  I am not angry, just sad that my Daughter will not have her father or mother present at her actual wedding.  Quite possibly the LDS perspective would be that it is sad because I made the decision to leave the church and how awful for me as her father to now not see his daughter be married.  I have seen stories where an inactive father comes back into fold because he he can’t bare the thought of not seeing his daughter’s or son’s marriage, and also becoming a source of his new found testimony.  I have wondered if that is why the Church is so unbending on this issue as it sometimes works as a tool to prick someones heart or emotions to return, as there do seem to be many ways this situation could be resolved but for whatever reasons the leaders of the church still hold to this rule.   

 I love my daughter and I think her future husband is a fantastic young man.  They have made this choice to start their life together in a way that is very important to them, this I respect, I do not begrudge them even a tiny bit for following their beliefs. I do feel it is very unfortunate that certain people will be excluded from this ceremony as neither of my daughters parents will be with her as she is married.  My daughter is just simply following her beliefs it is the LDS church leadership that have made the choice that has this unfortunate element of exclusion. 

We will celebrate today, I will wait for their arrival at the reception location , there I will celebrate with them honor them and be with them on this memorable occasion.  I will watch the exchange of rings and vows as part of a ring ceremony before the reception.  We will visit and see friends, family and loved ones get reacquainted with those we have not seen for awhile because of time and distance.  It will be a wonderful day. 

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8 Responses to “My Daughters Wedding”

  1. skiutah said

    Coventry, congratulations on raising your daughter, providing for her, and now she’s married. Those are huge accomplishments, nice job…

  2. Coventry, i’m sure this day is both wonderful, and awful for you.

    I think it is probably more difficult for you then you let on, But I think it is honorable that dispite your feelings about it, you still support your daughter, and hold back for her sake.

    I have never been in this situation, so I cannot really relate, but I do understand how difficult this is must be for parents.

    I hope that everything went ok, and that you were treated nicely by your family.

    Also, it’s up to you whether you want me on your blog roll, I considerate it an honor to be on it! And I don’t mind you crazy atheists 🙂 I hope you know that by now!

  3. Queen Bee said

    Even when I was an active-mo I thought the wedding policy was insensitive and unneccessary. Let’s call it what it is–a power/control play. I sat in the waiting room of the SanDiego temple when my son got married but even though I noticed how ridiculous it all was not to participate in one of my son’s life’s big rituals, I have to admit that I was grateful that I didn’t have to dress in temple clothes. On my late husband’s side they are big about full temple dress at these things. Besides Mormon temple sealings are kind of boring anyway.

  4. mo mommy said

    QB,
    I wouldn’t want to go to a sealing where they expect everyone to be in temple garb either!! Talk about stuffy!

    You know, I absolutely understand the ‘rules’ about who can attend a temple sealing ceremony, but I know from personal experience that it is a hard and painful thing. In fact, I walked around all day thinking about this and formulating the beginnings of a post about my own experience with the subject. I am so sorry you had to feel that, but I am glad you were still able to feel joy for your daughter on her special day. I’ve know many parents who pretty much shut their kids out over this. Bravo for you for not being one of them!

  5. skiutah said

    You’d think the church would figure out they could do some sort of civil ceremony where everybody is invited (and turn it into a “learn more about us” missionary event like they do with funerals).

    And then do the temple stuff as part of a different members only ceremony…

  6. coventryrm said

    I think they already do this or have done this in Countries where they do not have the authority to perform legal marriages, so I think God is okay with that idea.

  7. skiutah said

    It looks like several LDS members have started a petition to try to get the brethren to change their minds about Mormon weddings:

    Temple Wedding Petition

    Here’s snippet from the site:

    To our Latter-day Saint friends and families, this petition is NOT about allowing non-members or those who do not hold a temple recommend into an LDS temple. It’s about giving LDS couples throughout the world the choice to hold a civil ceremony first (if the couple desires it) prior to temple sealing without the mandatory one year waiting period.

  8. Mo Mommy said, “I’ve know many parents who pretty much shut their kids out over this.”

    You’ve got it completely backwards. It is the not the parents or the kids marrying who are at fault. It is a deplorable church policy that violates the freedom of choice and creates divisiveness in families that should unite them.

    The petition site is on the right track, and while the “brethren” will not likely listen to the petition of members and non-members to change the policy, it will stir up awareness. The Lord expects us to petition him in prayer. The “brethren” are the Lord’s servants. Let’s petition them with our signatures for change. Perhaps when enough people have expressed concern will the “brethren” taken the petition to the Lord and a new revelation will come.

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