About
I was raised in an LDS (Mormon) home. I lived the LDS lifestyle until I was in my mid 30’s. For a number of reasons I decided to search for knowledge and truth. I can honestly say I didn’t start with an agenda except for to be able to have more knowledge regarding my religious culture and beliefs. As I started studying and researching I found that the history of the church was quite different from what we had been taught over the pulpit and in Sunday School etc. Sure while on my mission and as an adult I would hear that there were some things in these books like Journal of Discourses and other publications written by the early church that were on the strange or on the controversial side. I didn’t think these things were of any consequence besides I could go and read what the apologetics and they seemed to have the answers to my questions. I had not actually read what was said just the apologetics responses. This new search I felt should be more complete and I started to read the actual source material for some of the claims that I had heard about. I gradually grew more and more frustrated as I felt the apologetic response seemed to be more geared towards members that were taking my first approach, I have heard about this book or information and without reading it, lets see if there is an answer, here it is Nibley says this and that and this person was just disgruntled anyway. Good enough for me. As I actually started reading the source material and then also following up on the apologetics footnotes and cross referenced presented accurate or truthful information and much of their resource material was questionable. Things like using the Quetzalcoatl in support of Christs visit to the Americas or Nibley quoting an article about Jewish rituals among native American tribes etc. These are just a few simple examples the path includes to many details to include here.
Having come to the conclusion that I could no longer believe in these things I had to analyze much in the way I believed and understand more clearly what spiritual witness actually was, what role all of this would play in my life. I think this was just about the scariest and emotional straining exercise that I have ever gone through. I have no regrets I am glad I did it. I truly understand and love myself now in a way that would not have been possible for me within the LDS belief system and culture.
When I first left the Church I still considered myself christian, my search soon took me past the LDS question. Soon I found myself no longer concerned with the LDS I definitely didn’t feel I had an ax to grind. My attitude was more of, if it works for you great. We are looking for something that brings us happiness and peace and if you truly have found it fantastic.
What I had not counted on is how divisive it was going to actually be on me and my family. I had hoped that overtime I would be accepted for who I was regardless of being LDS or not. Certainly some in my family have continued in unconditional love and know me for who I am. Unfortunately however the more immediate members don’t seem to be able see past I am no longer a Mormon. I think that is perhaps why I ended up on the LDS blogs to be able to vent some of these feelings in a safe environment. It has truly helped in some ways. I do see that there are many LDS that can view the world in a way that is not in direct conflict with my views or at least willing to recognize that others views or beliefs are just as valid as theirs *more time on the blogs and I am not sure this is true it just seems more like lip service, or just part of the nicey nice*. Of course there are also the ones that seem to be incapable of such thinking. It seems the LDS culture runs the spectrum of different views just as diversified as the many Christians out there, fundamentalist thinking all the way to very liberal or progressive and or moderate.
Bottom line for me is that we as a human race love and respect life and all that is around us make the world a better place. It really is immaterial what your motivation is, belief in God or Nature or even the pink unicorn. Morals and Values stand on their own and can be discussed and argued without bringing into the discussion some mythological figure that is unverifiable, in my opinion social conscience has clearly been the true catalyst for human growth and morals, and religious faith has and is holding us back and may well end up being our demise as a species.
MCQ said
Very interesting. I like the fact that you have found some use for the bloggernacle in your thinking about Mormonism, and that it has expanded your view of Mormons.
I had the same experience. For me finding those sites revitalized my faith in ways I had come to not expect because I had found no place to discuss the issues I always wanted to discuss. Now I can vent my frustration at typical views while finding like-minded people who, like me, are faithful and believing. It has been a revelation to me.
There seems to be a strong utilitarian idea in your oulook. Do you agree? I don’t subscribe to the idea that religion is good because it is socially useful. I don’t care about that. I only care if it’s true. You seem to be saying that a personal philosophy, be it religious or not, is only valuable if it instills some kind of useful moral code. Is that what you are saying, or not?
coventryrm said
I would say that it is pretty accurate. If by moral code you are saying respect and acceptance of others and life in general. yes. Morals as defined by religion I don’t alway feel are morals or values but quite the opposite. Homosexuality would be one example.
I also believe truth is very important. I posted the Carl Sagan quote I think after you visited the site.
elder joseph said
Coventryrm
I think its fair to say that in LDS culture in general , they think ‘Satan’ has got you and you’ve failed to keep your second estate having been successful on the first estate.You were a valiant spirit !
About Morals and Values .Sometimes I believe in God and then sometimes I don’t , but my moral values stay the same either way .When I do something for someone , its a natural instict to do what is right and not something I do for any eternal reward or earthly reward.
I think the teaching of do unto others as you would have them do to you is appropriate.
I would like to credit Mormons in General for my two years of Mormonism experience in that I’ve been more conscience to further ‘look’ to help and do things for others .Thats the Christian influence of the members .I felt that I wasn’t going to progress anymore and that by staying any longer I would become a little ‘arrogant’ ,’ a deceiver’ ( hiding the real history ) and anyway I knew it wasn’t what it claimed to be so I couldn’t live a lie and couldn’t even stand the meetings anymore , not even for fun .
I’ve decided to keep my Word Of Wisdom status .Why not I ask myself .I’m just as happy as when I drank alcohol occasionally and lots of coffee . I don’t look at others who drink alcohol and coffee etc as ‘infidels’ or anything . lol
I never did get the Spiritual Blessings of ‘Treasures of Knowledge’ from WOW , unless steering me to the real church history with a clear head was that fulfilled !
theroan said
So now are you a Christian, atheist, agnostic?
coventryrm said
Atheist if I am talking to someone that claims they know there is a God, Agnostic when I am talking to a person who is honest enough to admit that none of us really know. I would call myself a humanist if I had to pick a label.
dalogan said
Just wanted to let you know I read your story here. I quit a few years after my mission. The blog world has helped me see there are a lot of people out there going through similar situations. Like you, I started chipping away the belief at the church. Then all Chrisitianity was at question for me. I find it interesting that so many people that leave the mormon religion give up all religion.
myreligioniskindness said
I left about 5 years ago and went into New Thought, which was a nice transition from one community to another. I also find a lot of peace in Buddhism/Eastern philosophies, not so much in their strict practices of precise meditation, but the idea of mindfulness and non-attachment. I can also look at why I benefit from it from a psychological/egoic perspective. I then progressed into more earth based spirituality, which I liked because it connected me more with myself and took me out of ’sabbath’ worship. I now find there is no one belief system in and of itself that is big enough for me. I know it might bug some, but I pick and choose, but ultimately choose nothing organized. The longer time goes on, the more content I am with no practice or participation at all. I am content within myself. Sometimes I would even consider myself agnostic. I think it took me so long because it took a long time to let go of the IDEA of having a COMMUNITY, which is a big part of growing up and living the mormon faith.
Michael Glawson said
I’m a Christian (who really wouldn’t want to be a Christian if Christianity were a bunch of lies), and I’ve spent a lot of time on learning about and interacting with Mormons. I’m sorry to hear that you had such a terrible experience with the LDS church; while there are moral goods to Mormonism, so many of its fundamental tenets are obviously false, and that leads to a lot of pain and frustration. One thing that I’ve noticed though, in my interactions with Mormons, is that their understanding of non-Mormon Christianity is about as poor and uninformed as their understanding of their own system, seeing non-Mormon Christianity as a basic system that lacks Joseph Smith and all that he and his descending prophets taught. This is certainly far from the truth since Mormonism and non-Mormon Christianity are contradictory in the vast majority of their beliefs. I wonder, if that were true, do you feel like you’ve given enough consideration to Christianity to know that you don’t think it’s tenable, or do you think you might have just lumped it with Mormonism such that, if Mormonism is false, Christianity must also be, by default?
coventryrm said
Michael
When I first left Mormonism I didn’t even question Christianity, it was only after I started delving into Religion with a more broad and open mind not wanting to lose my spirituality just because I had come to my conclusion regarding Mormonism, slowly however as I researched and studied and pondered I came to the same conclusion regarding religious myth as a whole. They all have their problems in the integrity of the so called “Truths” they teach.
Cactus said
Please put a link to my site. I have incredible information about the Mormon religion and its efforts to “conquer” America in accordance with Mormon prophecy:
http://www.mormonzeitgeist.com/node/158