Woman, know thy place

This opinion was printed in the Salt Lake Tribune: Woman, know thy place

Here’s the text, this is classic:

I read “April Mormon conference may make history: women will pray” (Tribune, March 19) with great disappointment. I may be a male-chauvinist piglet to many women, yet the fundamentals of scripture are unchanging.

The Apostle Paul divinely stated in 1 Corinthians 14:34-35: “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.”

Woman was created for man; this world was made for men to lead households and prayers. Man was created in God’s image — not in a woman’s image.

American society has become so politically correct that it has spilled over to theology. Women, as well as children, may sing in church and participate in other ways.

If Brigham Young were alive today, I’m certain he would denounce women overshadowing the proper sphere of men. The sexes have different roles.

James A. Marples

Provo

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One would have to question a culture or religion that could produce such thoughts…

Why Lamanites Have Small Breasts

Scientists have discovered that eastern Asians experienced a genetic mutation 35,000 years ago that is responsible for these distinctive physical traits:
* Thicker hair
* Smaller breasts
* Distinctive teeth
* More sweat glands

Here’s the NY Times article: East Asian Physical Traits Linked to 35,000-Year-Old Mutation

How did these same human evolutionary attributes get transferred to the Lamanites in America? Here are some theories:
1. Father Lehi had unmentioned eastern Asian concubine stowaways hidden in his boat.
2. The climate in eastern Asian was much warmer 35,000 years ago and extra sweat glands would have been advantageous to the hunter-gatherers who lived at that time.
3. Thick hair and small breasts are visible sexual signals which, if preferred by men 35,000 years ago, could quickly become more common as the carriers had more children than the non-carriers.

God Used Beer to Create Human Civilization

Scientists have found evidence humans began brewing alcohol 11,000 years ago in Turkey. Many experts believe that beer was a key component of early human societies that fueled the rise of human civilization. The article states “”Production and consumption of alcoholic beverages is an important factor in feasts facilitating the cohesion of social groups, … and in organizing collective work.”

http://www.livescience.com/25855-stone-age-beer-brewery-discovered.html

Some questions:

11,000 years ago, why did God use alcohol to enable the rise of human civilization?

Did Eve look better to Adam only after Adam had quaffed a few beers? Thus ensuring the propagation of the human species.

Was the “apple” in the Garden of Eden (in Missouri) in reality applejack?

Why did God wait until 1833 (D&C 89) to instruct humans that beer was bad? Why not decree prohibition 11,000 years ago?

When God introduced polygamy into modern human society (D&C 132), did God foresee that polygamy and alcohol were a bad mixture? What was God thinking? Can you imagine?

History behind Mitt’s “binders full of women” comment…

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con·cu·binder   /ˈkɒŋkyəˌbaɪn-der /
noun
1. Sultan or bishop’s record of what women belong to which men in a polygamous colony.
2. Party type originating from Colorado City.
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Origin:
1843 – 1890; Utah English (Reformed Egyptian concubīna, equivalent to concub-, variant stem of concumbere to lie)

When is homicide justifiable?

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	View that killing is sometimes justifiable	View that killing a person is never okay
War.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Self-defense in home.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Self-defense stand your ground when you feel threatened.	Justifiable homicide (depends on your state/country)	Murder
Death penalty.	Justifiable homicide (depends on your state/country)	Murder
Bar fight, somebody dies.	Justifiable homicide	Murder/manslaughter
Distracted while driving, accident occurs, somebody dies.	Justifiable homicide (it was an accident)	Murder/manslaughter
Hunting accident.	Justifiable homicide (it was an accident)	Murder/manslaughter
Parents deny child medical attention because it violates religious beliefs; child dies.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Abused spouse snaps, kills abusive spouse.	Justifiable homicide	Murder/manslaughter
Assisted suicide: terminally ill person wants life ended humanely without pain.	Justifiable homicide (depends on your state/country)	Murder
Suicide.	Justifiable homicide (of oneself)	Murder
Pull plug on brain dead relative when they could be kept alive for years.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Police kill a dangerous criminal committing a crime.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
God says it’s okay to kill (God tells Nephi to kill Laban, God tells terrorists to kill, and so on).	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Surgeon terminates life of one conjoined twin in order to save the life of other twin.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Woman chooses to have a late term abortion.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Woman chooses to have an early term abortion.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Abortion where mother’s life in danger.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Abortion of pregnancy from rape.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Abortion of pregnancy from incest.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
God says it’s okay to kill abortion doctor.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
Extra IVF embryos destroyed/never used.	Justifiable homicide	Murder
RU-486 pill.	Justifiable homicide	Murder (blocks hormone required to maintain early pregnancy)
Morning after pill.	Justifiable homicide	Murder (possibly prevents implantation of fertilized egg)
Birth control (estrogen/progestin).	Justifiable homicide	Murder (possibly prevents implantation of fertilized egg)
Spermicide, Sponge, Condom, IUD.	Justifiable homicide	Murder (preventing sperm from creating life)
Sterilization/vasectomy.	Justifiable homicide	Murder (preventing possible future lives)
Male masturbation.	Justifiable homicide	Murder (“tossing out” good sperm that could be used to create life)

 

Where did God come from?

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References:
Who created God?
Where did God come from?

Krishna and Christ

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Krishna and Christ

Krishna and Christ seem pretty similar…

Should Mormons Shun Mitt?

Here’s an article in the Washington Post: Should Mormon Voters Shun Mitt Romney

The reader comments are hilarious…

Native Americans Most Closely Related to Neanderthals

Here’s a scientfic article that states that native American Indians have more Neanderthal DNA in them than other human populations: Neanderthal DNA in native Americans

How is that possible? One theory popular in Provo:

Father Lehi populates the Americas with his Neanderthal seed. So easy a caveman could do it.

Chairmen

Recent chairs used as a foundation for imaginary friends:

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